What?

Ok so this is the first time that I have ever blogged but I felt like doing something new. Today is Friday, and I am so glad because I think I am trying to get sick. I need some rest and I plan to do it this weekend. Anyway, I was on FB this afternoon and something happened that made me really think about the choices I have made in my life. I have 2 male friends that I am very close too. The problem is, I have slept with them both (not at the same time) and had a relarionship with them. Although the relationship is over, we remained close and their wives don't know about me or they don't like me. As a woman I understand completely but I wish it were different. One male friend deleted me from his friends list on FB because his wife is on their now. It hurt my feelings for a minute and made me think, "Why is it that I am always that woman on the side or the woman nobody sees?" What is it about me? "What can I change?" or better "Do I know how to change?"